Plaquemines Parish : Some Words
Joe MF Wilson
I love EC. I got more than I gave. I gave more than my math can handle. Before, during, and after. Like a circle. And yes I did and do believe in the circle, the big Symoblic Rainbow Native American Mathematics Timelessness Gimmicky Spiritual Complete Circle: the wheel, the shape, the without and within, the strength of no ending and no beginning, the fire contained, the equality of distance from the center to the outside, its opposition to straight-edges and corners, its source of Neanderthal feeling of a circle round a fire.
But I didn’t attend circle every time. Who does like they believe in every time? Not one, so none. Some seem to get a lot closer to it than others though, and they look either holy or professional and often extra well-lit by the sun the moon or the wind. An EC type had moments when other EC volunteers remind them of angels.
photo by Eduardo Mayén
And there were ghosts and there were demons. These belonged to EC individuals as singularly as an every-day-is-different-day-in-the-life belongs to each individual in the world. Ghosts-- Your ghosts, my ghosts, the people in memory who’ve died, the occasional sense of spirits or supernatural, even the enjoyment or even the disbelief in the myth. Demons—Your demons, my demons, internal, I won’t share not in this writing but maybe in somewhat intimate conversation, I won’t ask you to share, I just ask you and I ask myself to try and face the demons, to try and deal with them, to never trust that I/you understand them fully, to think about what needs to be forced with them, what needs to be sacrificed.
It’s through some kinda recognition of mutual ghosts and demons that volunteers can most often connect with residents, and strangers with strangers.
Or through working towards something (Home, a beer at the end of the day, a crawfish boil, a health inspection test…).
This is still me trying to explain about representing EC.
I know other well-representing representatives might and should be very upset about my words by now—so much to add, to nuance, to word more accurately, to argue over…. This is merely mine for now. I tried to get started writing once or twice on this same computer. This time Matt asked me to write, told me not to not worry about it, so I guess I’m trying harder than when I asked myself to get this done.
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